Dancing For the Stars

Several weeks ago Olivia was chosen for a charity fundraiser supporting the American Cancer Foundation. A non-profit organization called "From the Heart" was sponsoring the event. Livi was chosen to be one of 10 childhood cancer survivors/"stars", who would have a dance performed in her honor. The tickets were quite pricey(Livi + one was free) but we got some

discount for additional tickets and Grandma flew in for the

occasion... at full price! It was a very extravagant evening with hours'-devours, sparkling cider/champagne, and a full 3 course meal with "Fancy Nancy butter!". I finally was able to try flan... I rather enjoyed it.

Nurses and doctors from throughout the valley had teamed up to learn professional dance steps and even wore the typical costumes that one would expect to see on "Dancing With the Stars", but unfortunately not all the bodies were as glamorous. Let's just say a nurse in her late 50's shouldn't be parading around in hot pants and a leather bra with cowboy tassels. I'm pretty sure you could see her zipper scar from a decades old cesarean. (EWWW!)

Our favorite dancing was done by our kids. Livi and Aaron, having just brushed up on their

skills the previous weekend at the wedding in San Diego, were on the dance floor constantly. No one was dancing but that didn't stop them. During hours'-devours, dinner and after, they were struttin' their stuff. What Bill and I think is the funniest thing about this is, deep down Olivia is shy. She hates it when all the attention is on her. This doesn't seem to make sense considering all the public attention she gets herself into. Let me explain. Whenever she is to be in a so called "public" setting she gets defiant and most of the time starts crying. I know her limits and know her well enough to know what she will enjoy, so I push her. ie. the "Survivor" sash that she's wearing. She wanted nothing to do with it because it was "going to make people look at me!". I convinced her that it was part of her responsibility so that the people that paid money to come could see what a fighter she was. We were also able to show her the few others that had them on. There were about 20 tables with 10 people at each, surrounding the dance floor, and she was out in the middle dancing her heart out. I explained to Bill, "Watch her. She never looks around at the other people when she's dancing. She's completely focused on herself. In her mind she's not in front of a crowd, it's just her. She helped present an award to another dancer-terrified. She received her trophy- it was only her in the room. Funny little girl.

Each "star" had a picture slideshow put together in their honor and during Olivia's I'm pretty sure mine weren't the only moist eyes. As they showed Livi's pictures one flashed of all the princess kisses on her face from Disney World and the table with her oncology nurses cheered loudly.

After the dancing competition they presented trophies to all the cancer kids. Olivia was so very proud of her trophy. Aaron understandably was a little upset to say the least. (In his mind I'm sure he thinks, "Livi gets everything, trophy's, presents, sashes, cancer...!") With Olivia they reiterated the theme and said, "Our biggest Star, Olivia Ellison." (She was the youngest one there to be honored, but not the youngest diagnosed.) The women hosting the event had told me that she had the best pictures and had been the sickest. That was hardly palatable as some of the other children had lost their eye sight, or even limbs!

After the event one of Livi's oncology nurses, Kendra, approached us and said how hard it was to see the picture of Livi laying in the hospital bed with all the machines. She recounted that memory with me.

"You had brought her in to the office that Friday and I knew she didn't look good. And then they admitted her and I went away for the weekend. Jenny (the NP) called me Saturday and told me 'It's about Livi, we don't know if she's gonna make it.'."

I know we lived through it, but that was tough to hear. More than a year later, it seems like a fading memory that at times I wonder if it ever really did happen as seriously as I remember. When I hear medical staff saying these things I am reminded to once again thank my Heavenly Father for my daughter's life here with us.